I'm going to say something that might piss off a few moms, but here it goes. I honestly think it was easier to run my business when my kids were little. Before anyone comes at me, let me explain. I'm not saying raising babies and toddlers is easy, because it absolutely isn't. I'm saying that from a business and scheduling perspective, my life was a hell of a lot easier when I had full-time, year-round daycare. I had a reliable schedule from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 in the evening. I knew when I could work, schedule appointments, meet with clients, and actually get things done. Then my kids started school, and suddenly those dependable hours disappeared. Now we have school days that end at 2:30, random half days, teacher in-service days, holidays, sports, activities, and summer camps that apparently think working parents only need childcare from 9 to 1, Monday through Thursday. And don't even get me started on having to register for summer camp in January. I genuinely thought that once my kids got older, I would have more time for my business. Looking back, that's adorable. The schedules just got more complicated, and somehow I became the person responsible for keeping track of every single one of them. I even had one of my daughters look at our family calendar, notice we had a Saturday with absolutely nothing scheduled, and decide it would be the perfect opportunity to invite five friends over. Excuse me, ma'am. Maybe your mother wanted one Saturday to sit around reading a trashy novel and doing absolutely nothing.
But the scheduling is only part of it. What I really wasn't prepared for was how much heavier the mental load would become as my kids got older. When they're little, we're worrying about naps, tantrums, keeping them safe, and why the purple cup they've used every day for six weeks is suddenly unacceptable. When they get older, the problems become a whole different kind of complicated. We're navigating friendships, bullying, mean girls, school struggles, confidence, social media, and all the pressure our kids put on themselves. I remember one of my daughters coming home when she was about ten years old, completely panicked because she got two words wrong on a spelling test and was convinced she wouldn't get into a good college. Two words. On a spelling test. At ten years old. And we're supposed to help them navigate all of this while we're still figuring out our own lives. We're dealing with our businesses, relationships, responsibilities, and sometimes our own childhood experiences that suddenly come rushing back when our kids go through something similar. The hardest part for me is that when my kids come to me, I want to be available. Especially now that they're older, because I truly believe that if they're coming to you with something, there's a reason. If I keep brushing them off because I'm working, will they eventually stop coming to me? That's a pretty heavy thought to have while you're also trying to finish a project, answer emails, and keep your business running.
And that's the other piece people sometimes forget about being a mompreneur. Our businesses don't magically stop needing us because our families do. We're responsible for the clients, the income, the bills, the taxes, the employees, and all the other things that come with owning a business. Even when we're not physically working, those responsibilities are still sitting somewhere in the back of our minds. Then someone inevitably suggests time blocking, as though the solution to everything is simply putting it on a calendar. That's wonderful in theory, but my kids, their schools, and their activities apparently didn't get the memo that they're supposed to respect my designated work hours. And then comes the mom guilt. Because we're told to enjoy every minute, that they're only little once, and that someday we'll miss all of this. And maybe we will. But that doesn't mean we aren't allowed to admit that it's hard right now. We're still whole-ass humans outside of being mothers. We're allowed to want time for our businesses, our interests, and ourselves without feeling guilty about it. I'm not going to wrap this up with five productivity hacks or pretend there's some magical scheduling system that fixes everything, because every family, business, and support system is different. Sometimes there isn't an easy solution. Sometimes we just need another woman to say, "Yep, I'm dealing with the same shit." And that's one of the reasons I'm building Midlife Mompreneurs. I want us to have somewhere we can talk honestly about this stage of life without pretending we've got it all figured out. So if you've ever looked at your older kids, your overflowing calendar, and your growing to-do list and thought, Wasn't this supposed to get easier? I'm right there with you.
Rather listen than read? This article was inspired by Episode 2 of the Midlife Mompreneurs Podcast, "I'm Sorry...But It Was Easier When My Kids Were Little." Listen to the full episode for more of my thoughts on running a business while raising older kids, the mental load of motherhood, and why I'm officially done pretending a perfectly organized calendar is going to solve everything.
Listen to or watch the episode → Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
And if any of this sounds familiar, come find me on Instagram and tell me about it. I'd love to hear whether you think running a business was easier when your kids were little, too. You can also sign up for the Midlife Mompreneurs newsletter to hear about upcoming podcast episodes, meetups, the conference, and everything else we're building.
